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3 Myths That Might Make Your Marriage Problematic

by Team Tenangles
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Problematicmarriageblog

The superficial and overblown sense of purity and perfectness associated with the idea of Marriage is a myth. Elementally, Marriage is an isolated space in which two individuals should explore each other from soul to attire and blend each other’s virtues and vices. So many wise men and women have written books on making a marriage work. Some of this wisdom is undoubtedly based on facts and logic, but a large portion of it is based on certain myths.

Let’s discuss some of the myths that might be affecting your Marriage, which is one of the oldest institutions in the world.

Having common interests is always a healthy sign for a marriage

Go to any dating or matchmaking site, and the first thing they ask you is to write down your interest areas. Based on that, they search for your potential partner. This approach is based on the wrong notion that having common interests is more important in a marriage than having intimacy or sexual compatibility. Though in a marriage, the quality of interaction matters, not the things that a couple does together.

The critical question here is, how many productive or negative interactions does a couple have in everyday situations? The answer will give you a clear picture of the equation between them. For example, think of a married couple that enjoys Kayaking. Both take their kayaks and go to a lake. This being their interest area, they seem to enjoy the excursion at an individual level. But when it comes to interacting with each other, they only criticize and belittle each other over paddling skills. Do you believe all is good between them? In all probability, it’s not. Indeed there is a lack of communication, and neither of them is willing to address it.

That a couple should never go to bed angry

It’s a cliché that a dispute or an argument should never be taken to the bed, and couples should make merry before they doze off. This is why couples try to resolve their issues in a hurry and fail to reach rational conclusions. In most cases, such issues keep on reoccurring and bring instability to a marriage. Many types of research indicate that around two-thirds of such problems are never resolved because of personality differences.

So how do you handle such situations?

The trick is to stretch the duration of your argument, first to turn it into a discussion and then finally resolve it. First of all, don’t try to tone down the intensity of your thoughts, but yes, try to tone down your anger. Just divert your mind by reading a book for about an hour and resume your conversation. Once you do that, your body relaxes physiologically, and you can then communicate rationally. So, the next time you argue with your spouse, don’t be in a hurry to resolve it. Patience will give you fruitful results.

Affairs are the biggest instigators of divorce

Well, affairs can destroy the foundation of a relationship. That said, are affairs the reason why people file for a divorce? Not always. An extramarital affair often results from a lack of intimacy and intent in a marriage. This lack of intimacy and intent is what lays the ground for a divorce. According to various surveys, around 80 percent of people believe that a feeling of loneliness was the primary reason for their separation. Such a feeling is exceptionally unhealthy for Marriage and forces one of the partners to indulge in an affair. Divorce is just an overdue outcome.

Conclusion

I hope this write-up will give you a better perspective on your Marriage. I hope you will stay away from such myths and take your Marriage in a healthier direction.

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