It is very easy to believe that your relationship is different from other but probably it is not. What you didn’t realise that relationships take lots of effort to maintain. Even if you love each other but you are not always happy with your partner.
Below, we have listed some of the trust but hard to accept insights about modern day romance. If you can get past these somewhat unsettling ideas, you’ll be more likely to have a happy, fulfilling and long lasting partnership.
There’s probably no such thing as ‘The One’
Out of the thousands of eligible singles out there waiting for a right swipe, how do you know who is the right one for you?
Reality: There isn’t a right one.
According to experts there is a one that you choose and with whom you decide to have a relationship. But there are many others, you just chose this one and once you have chosen someone, you work to make that person a better fit.
You may be less likely to break up with your partner if you have a joint investment or bank account
Research suggests that if you have a house which is co-owned by you and your partner or a joint bank account which Psychologists call “material constraints makes a breakup a lot less likely.”
In fact, according to a recent study about unmarried men and women in heterosexual relationships suggest that if you add just one additional material constraint in a relationship there is 10% increase in a couple’s chances of staying together.
Interestingly that’s because it’s harder to disentangle yourself from the relationship when it’s not about just the two of you. So it’s wise to think in advance if you are slightly uncomfortable, what you’d do if the relationship dissolved.
Even if you love each other Poor timing can be a reason to break up
Famous journalist Jenna Birch explains why timing is all-important in a relationship.She further explains that many men and women may be on different timelines. While most of the men want to established professionally and financially before settling down on the other hand women can work on love and their career at the same time.
Ms Birch suggests women to take men seriously when they say they are not ready for a serious relationship right now. That may mean you should move on to someone else who feels steady and ready to be in a relationship, instead of wasting your time hanging around.
Passion may wax and wane in your relationship
You and your partner may not always see fireworks in a relationship like you had in the early stages of your relationship. The key is not to freak out.
According to relationship expert decline of passion in a relationship is perfectly normal and that you can lure it back. One strategy is to schedule sex or another one is to plan a new and exciting activity together. Above all these try to be patient while you work on things.
If you & your partner have different values it can be hard to make a relationship work
There is a difference between values and interests. If you like going to watch football games and your partner doesn’t, you can probably find a friend to go with you instead. But if your focus is earning more money and improving your social status and your partner doesn’t care about it that could be a problem.
Some experienced professors of human development recommend that having an open discussion about core values with your partner before getting married is a good idea if you looking for a long relationship. These discussions can cover all the important matters like money, children, religion or whatever else is important to you.
Most people have unrealistic expectations for their relationship
Renowned counsellor Ruth Westheimer who is also known as Dr Ruth has seen it all, having counselled thousands of people around the world about their relationships and sex lives.
One conclusion she reached after meeting all these is that most people have unreasonably high expectations for romance from their partners. Dr Ruth further explained that movies tell us that the stars have to be twinkling every night but that’s not happened in real life.
That’s why it’s important to understand the reality of life and keep your expectations accordingly.
The partner may not always be compatible
This is really scary: The person you’re happy with today may not be the person you’ll be happy with forever. Some world famous psychologists are of the opinion that even though we achieve compatibility in the marriage, there’s no guarantee that this compatibility will remain strong over time.
The real question is remains the same whether you’re planning to try to make the relationship work regardless of how you both change. There’s no right answer.