Your Value Does Not Decrease Based on Someone’s Ability to See You
When romantic phase overs, the string of complex emotions to overcome await. Many people have strong opinions on how long it should take to get over a breakup. Dealing with a division can be the most devastating thing that can happen to anyone. This, perhaps, is the last thing anyone of us wants to happen.
I remember my first breakup like it just happened yesterday. In reality, it was about a decade ago. I was in the first year of college. Everything was so good when suddenly I met my boyfriend. Initially, things were excellent. We were having a great time together until he stopped calling me one day. I still remember worrying about him. Is he fine? Where is he? Did something happen? Everything was perfect, except the fact that this was the beginning of something that I might have never imagined – the beginning of the end.
Not only did he stop meeting me at college, but he stopped texting or calling and even ignored even my presence; it all came to a halt. We were an innocent, tender and young relationship. However, that does not mean it was not significant. After all, it was my first tussle with love, and it broke me down completely. After days of ignoring, speculating, and wondering, my boyfriend finally confided he wanted to break up. This was something that brought me to tears that kept flowing.
For the next few days, All I did was cry refuses to get out of bed, even for meals. My friends told me I was being dramatic and ridiculous and asked me to get out of it. But, it was not that straightforward at all. Had it been possible for me to drive myself out of that situation, I would have. Well, what happened was completely different. I was going crazy wondering how long it would take to get over this breakup. When will I be okay?
I failed to realize that the answers to all these questions depended entirely on me. The only thing that we should understand is that drowning in tears will not help overcome the situation. All it will bring is a heartache that will persist. The best way to deal with a breakup is to take proactive steps for healing.
Improve every single day and engage in activities that make you happy. And eventually, you will be back to a happy life again. Moral – you have to put in efforts to piece yourself together. You can say a few weeks for grieving and then declare your breakup. Well, there is no telling how long it might take to get over a breakup.
Instead, it would be best to focus on building yourself back up. When you have a broken heart, it can take a while to find your way back to normal. Thus, several factors determine the length of time a person might take to recover from a breakup.
Here are a few tips that would help you get over a breakup.
The Right Time to Focus on Personal Goals
It is the right time to focus on your personal goals. Relationships are demanding and need a lot of commitment and time. Given that you are single again, you will think of a relationship breaking up all the time and energy you have put into it. Your goals had taken a backseat. Perhaps, you have been thinking of planning a trip with your friends, or you want to get back to the dancing class, running or singing. Irrespective of your goals, whether small or big, use this time to focus on them and achieve their best.
Talk to Your Support System
It is usual to accept that we need help. Most of us are not able to understand how crucial can it be. If you also think the same, then it is silly, considering we all require assistance at some or the other point. If you were struggling and stressed out after a breakup, talk to a family member or a trusted friend about it.
Admitting to your feelings and talking about them in the open will help you heal and ridding of the breakup. Also, your loved ones and support systems might offer a new and helpful perspective. However, if you do not feel comfortable talking to family or friends about your breakup, schedule an appointment with a relationship consultant or mental health professional.
Release The Pain
While it might appear counter-intuitive, you mustn’t run away from painful feelings and emotions. Instead, you should take the pain the way it comes and then express it healthily. Journaling is one exercise that might help you. No medicine works better than penning it down. Let your emotions flow through the pen. You can also write a letter to your ex expressing your feelings, what you are going through, what you think of them, and how you feel about the breakup.
Once you have written it all, seal it, think that you have locked the real pain inside it, and rip it apart, burn it, or flush it. The primary purpose of this exercise is to release those painful emotions and then get rid of them.
As I mentioned earlier, it will take time and hard work to get over a breakup. However, you would start to feel better. As the healing process unfolds, reflect on the separation and your individual growth and progress, and think where you want to see yourself in the future.
What have you learned from the breakup? What have you learned about yourself? Try to identify the bad and sound of your relationship. What did this relationship teach you? This will help you recognize and understand the breakup and your single stats as valuable opportunities to grow and learn.