During bidaii we see the bride to throw back rice to her loved ones. It is a ritual done in the sense that the daughter is paying back all the debts to her parents. But can really the debt of father and mother be paid back ever?
After marriage, it becomes difficult for a bride to keep balance in the new and old relationship as it is the bride, who has to leave her parent’s home. But leaving the parent’s home doesn’t necessarily mean that she left it forever or every right to her from the parents has been demolished.
Maintaining two sides of the family is so tough to do. It doesn’t depend on just the married girl. The girl wants to make everyone happy, but is it possible to make happy all at the same time? No, but we have to balance our love and care. Nobody should be hurt.
Besides this, all the members of both families have to secure the girl’s happiness. The first and foremost responsibility is of the husband because the liaison to the new family is him. He can make her feel comfortable in his house by helping her to understand others. And he is the only person who can manage his family according to the situation and the girl’s capability. He should be a big support.
What should a married woman do?
Adjustment in New Family
When a girl comes into the new family of her in-laws she comes into contact with different people with different behavior. Sometimes some persons can be disrespectful and try to create a problem for her, but if this is minor then she should ignore their behavior.
Obviously, in the new family everyday life, food habit, the culture would be different, so the girl has to make some adjustments and try to take everything normal and positively.
Don’t Complain about Everything
In day to day life, we all do this mistake. Sometimes we even complain about some small issues to our partner which are not at all important. Experts say this type of behavior creates irritation in a human mind. Whosoever fault there is we can`t listen complain about our family, this is human nature. So try to complain less and try to solve matter without complaining to your partner.
Avoid Fake Behavior
Some women act very differently and positively at the beginning of their married life and create expectations in the family. But after some time they show their real behavior. This type of behavior creates a lot of problems in the family so don`t be a fake person, always be what you are in reality.
Staying connected with the parent’s home
Sometimes it happens that being so much busy and happy in our In-laws home we almost forget our parents. This should not happen. We should always be in touch with our parent either through phone or some other way. Marrying doesn’t mean that everything is finished with the paternal house. They are obviously one of the main priorities. Negligence means disregard of their care and love.
Negative sharing is bad
There are so many things happening in both families, sometimes some are negative. All of these are not worth to share with others. In this case, the married girl has to keep the secret within her. She has the responsibility to secure the secrets of both families.
Saving oneself from being provoked
Sometimes we hear that a girl creates problems with husband by listening and being instigated by her parents. This should never be done. Anyone out of the couple is just the third person. Entry of the third person should be totally prohibited. Trust broken once, is tough to rebuild.
What should a married man do?
Respect for the In-laws
They have given you their most valuable part of their life, their daughter, so the husband should always remember that his wife also belongs to her own family too. The way a husband wants to get his wife with his parents, the wife expects the same too.
Helping is the best thing
As the husband is the main connection between the wife and his family he has to help his wife in adjusting in his family. A girl coming from a different background may do some mistakes and this is normal. A husband should help his wife in adjusting rather than leaving her alone to adjust herself.
Passing time with in-laws
As a married girl, the married man has the responsibility to take care of the in-laws. He should keep in touch with them. They have the same right on their daughter as before marriage. This thinking has to be respected by the husband and spent some valuable time with his in-laws. He can celebrate some religious occasion in the parent’s home of his wife to share the joy of the ritual. Both the families can go for outing and build a good and strong bonding.
It is said that marriage does not happen between just two souls; rather it’s between two families. Every relationship is important and each person of the family should be felt respected.