During bidaii, we see the bride throwback rice to her loved ones. It is a ritual done in the sense that the daughter is paying back all the debts to her parents. But can the debt of father and mother be paid back ever? After married life, it becomes difficult for a bride to balance the new and old relationship as the bride has to leave her parent’s home.
But leaving the parent’s house doesn’t necessarily mean that she left it forever or every right to her from the parents has been demolished. Maintaining two sides of the family is so tough to do. It doesn’t depend on just the married girl. The girl wants to make everyone happy, but is it possible to make her happy simultaneously? No, but we have to balance our love and care. Nobody should be hurt.
Besides this, all the members of both families have to secure the girl’s happiness. The first and foremost responsibility is of the husband because the liaison to the new family is him. He can make her feel comfortable in his house by helping her understand others. And he is the only person who can manage his family according to the situation and the girl’s capability. He should be a great support.
What should a married woman do?
Adjustment in New Family
When a girl comes into the new family of her in-laws, she comes into contact with different people with different behaviour. Sometimes some persons can be disrespectful and try to create a problem for her, but if this is minor, she should ignore their behavior.
Obviously, in the new family everyday life, food habit, the culture would be different, so the girl has to make some adjustments and try to make everything normal and positively.
Don’t Complain about Everything
In day to day life, we all make this mistake. Sometimes we even complain about some small issues to our partner that are not important. Experts say this type of behavior creates irritation in the human mind. Whosoever fault there is, but we can’t complain about our family, this is human nature. So try to complain less and solve the matter without complaining to your partner.
Avoid Fake Behavior
Some women act very differently and positively at the beginning of their married life and create expectations in the family. But after some time they show their real behavior. This type of behaviour causes many problems in the family, so don’t be a fake person; always be what you are in reality.
Staying Connected With the Parent’s Home
Sometimes it happens that being so busy and happy in our In-law’s home we almost forget our parents. This should not happen. We should always be in touch with our parents either through the phone or somehow. Marrying doesn’t mean that everything is finished with the paternal house. They are one of the main priorities. Negligence means disregard of their care and love.
Negative Sharing is Bad
There are so many things in both families sometimes, and some are negative. All of these are not worth sharing with others. In this case, the married girl has to keep her secret. She has the responsibility to secure the secrets of both families.
Saving Oneself From Being Provoked
Sometimes we hear that a girl creates problems with her husband by listening and instigating her parents. This should not be done; anyone is just the third person out of the couple. The entry of the third person should be prohibited. Trust broken once is tough to rebuild.
What should a married man do?
Respect For the In-laws
They have given you the most valuable part of their life, their daughter, so the husband should always remember that his wife belongs to her own family too. The way a husband wants to get his wife with his parents, the wife expects the same too.
Helping is the Best Thing
As the husband is the main connection between the wife and his family, he has to help his wife adjust to his family. A girl coming from a different background may make some mistakes, which is normal. A husband should help his wife change rather than leave her alone to adjust herself.
Passing the Time With In-Laws
As a married girl, the married man is responsible for taking care of the in-laws. He should keep in touch with them. They have the same right to their daughter as before marriage. The husband must respect this thinking and spend some valuable time with his in-laws. He can celebrate some religious occasion in the parent’s home of his wife to share the joy of the ritual. Both the families can go for outings and build a good and strong bonding.
It is said that marriage does not happen between just two souls; rather, it’s between two families. Every relationship is important, and each family person should be felt respected.