Being a Single Mother
Motherhood is the purest thing but the most hardworking and, at the same time, loveliest matter. It’s harsh to hear for the fathers, but it’s true that bringing up a child is possible without a father but never without a mother (except the exceptions). A child is the heart and part of the body of its mom.
Since the child’s birth, a mom gives her full attention and life to that child. The father supports that obviously in his system. Father is also necessary for a child’s healthy growth; whatever it is for can be mental, physical, or financial. As the mom undertakes the baby by forgetting all the supporting factors, who would maintain it? Of course, the fathers! They make it easy for the moms to give her the whole day for the baby.
But the situation gets worse when the mother becomes single unluckily, and all the other responsibilities fall upon her. She has to maintain all duties of a father and a mother both. Mandy Hale, the New York Times bestseller author, said, “Single moms: You are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”
Some do not want to get married 2nd time for the sake of the baby. Then the word “single mother” has been put on their life. Their 2nd life journey begins with their children. Let’s talk about some of the struggles and how to deal with those according to India-
A single mom should take responsibility for the earning member, whatever the job is. It would be tough for them if they were jobless before. While their expenses are bored by the father until those days, the whole life costs are going on the mother’s purse. So the burden of housing, medical, education, food, and entertainment all expenses fall on her part. At the same time, she wants to maintain the level of expending for the children to keep them happy. She wants to fill the demands and necessities as the children wish to.
At first, you have to believe that your children are the power from where you originated the stamina of everything. You have to wait for the situation’s changing and try harder to get the earning features. There are lots of activities that you can do according to your education and skills; find those and apply. On the other hand, you can take some loans from trustworthy relatives and SMEs from banks or NGOs to set yourself with a small business. God is with you, and you can have the rights you would seek. Believe in yourself.
Then comes the children’s usual acceptance of the financial condition. If the child is too small to understand, it’s easy to maintain the expected behavior you need. You can create new values at home with behaviors. The problem occurs when the child is old enough to understand the sudden change in the situation. They can be frustrated, unmanageable, and questionable about everything. You have to make a slight struggle to make him or her understand the whole situation and give the lessons of the new life and new lifestyles.
You, Will Be Judged For Everything
It is a very normal phenomenon in subcontinent countries that you will be judged in everything you do, and People would say that you are the one who has to be blamed for the breakup with your husband. You did not think about the children and make their life miserable by leaving your husband. Or you snatch the children from their fathers.
If the husband is dead for bad luck, it is no surprise that the wife is labeled as a bad omen. You are the worst mom in the world who is so careless and selfish!!! And so on. Remember, people of society believe in having the responsibility to talk rubbish, don’t deserve to listen to. Avoid all of them. Lead your life with the children and step forwards.
Jackie Kennedy, the first lady of the USA, 1963 said: “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.” Judgmental people should always be avoided. I know some single mothers who had very little education but never lost their hope, fought for their children, and made them the most deserved persons in society. And then every ill speaker changed their tones.
Judgmental people would always arbitrate you during your bad times; they would come to you for help in a good position in society. They count you on your present, but to remind you, days don’t pass at the same flow all the time.
Saving Your Children From Those People
The most challenging and saddest part is managing things but not your children alone as they could be seen as part of a broken family. Sometimes you can find that parents of other children would not let their children join with yours by negatively approaching them.
This moment is very tough; you have to move your power to support and raise them with great values and strength to defend those negative comments. You may change the area and school where the known persons live and start a fresh new life; it’s necessary to do so. You don’t have to consider losing yourself; instead, it’s a win-win situation for you and the children.
Finding Your Partner and The Supporter of Your Children
If there is anything you have nothing to do rather than pray- it is to find a new partner who would equally accept your children. I have even heard that some got an unmarried partner and carried the children after seven years of single motherhood. So wait for your lucky charm!
Want to conclude with my favorite quote of Emma-Louise Smith, who is a famous single mom of the UK, having a website named Savvy Solo Mama, “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”